Redefining Resilience

Redefining Resilience: Why Being Adaptable Beats Just “Pushing Through”

When people talk about “resilience,” what do they really mean? For many, it’s this image of grinding it out no matter what—day after day, storm after storm—just keeping your head down and marching on until something (or someone) finally cracks.

Sound familiar? If so, it’s probably also familiar how exhausting that feels. That definition of resilience is like being an oak tree in a hurricane - looks strong, sure, but too rigid to handle the pressure. When the storm hits hard enough, that oak is going down.

Meet the New Resilience: Adaptability

I’m here to suggest a different approach. Picture yourself as bamboo instead of an oak tree. Bamboo is strong, but flexible; it bends without breaking. That’s adaptability. Instead of gritting your teeth and ignoring the warning signs from your mind and body, adaptability lets you respond and pivot—knowing when to push, when to pause, and when to rethink your whole approach.

This kind of resilience isn’t about brute force or “just keeping on keeping on.” It’s about having the courage to ask, “Is what I’m pushing toward actually worth this?” If yes, great—let’s keep going, smarter and steadier. If no, then maybe it’s time to reconsider the destination, not just the journey.

Pausing Isn’t Quitting—It’s Strategy

Here’s the part that might raise an eyebrow - taking a break isn’t giving up. It’s not a sign of weakness or some personal flaw. It’s a power move. Pausing gives you the breathing room to check in with yourself—your energy, your mental state, your actual priorities. Societal pressure might try to convince you that “winners never quit,” but let’s be honest, winners know when to rest, and they know when to ditch a losing game.

How to Start Building Adaptability Into Your Life

• Embrace Change:
  Stop viewing life’s curveballs as personal attacks. See them as feedback. Adjust your strategy. Lean into what’s new, rather than fighting it.

• Set Fierce Boundaries:
  Guard your energy like it’s the world’s most precious resource—because it is. Say no to what drains you and yes to what restores you. This isn’t selfish; it’s necessary.

• Adopt a Growth Mindset:
  Struggle doesn’t equal failure; it means you’re testing your limits. Each setback is a lesson, if you decide to learn from it.

• Practice Radical Self-Compassion:
  Drop the internal drill sergeant act. Treat yourself as you would a close friend who’s having a rough day. Kindness toward yourself cultivates emotional elasticity, so you can bounce back faster.

• Lean Into Support:
  Going it alone is overrated. A strong network—friends, colleagues, mentors—acts like a buffer against life’s storms. Not everyone can carry you through, but they can sure help you steer in the right direction.

Thriving vs. Surviving

Real resilience isn’t about white-knuckling your way through every tough spot. It’s about understanding the difference between what you can do and what you should do. Some years ago, when I was new to this area, I took a job in women’s fashion retail simply because it offered a stable income. I loved my horses and needed to pay for their costs while I settled in, so I accepted the store manager position. Before long, I was promoted to Area Manager, and then Regional Manager. On paper, it was a clear upward trajectory—proof that I was “capable” and “resilient.” But it wasn’t my dream or even my passion. I’d stepped into a role that didn’t align with who I was or where I wanted to go. Just because I could do it, didn’t mean I should do it. Staying there didn’t serve me, my colleagues, or the company. And the more I pushed through, the more I realized that I was surviving, not thriving.

That experience taught me that adaptability is about more than bearing down. It’s about having the guts to pause and reassess, to see if the life you’re building is actually the one you want. It’s about asking “Is what I’m doing worth the cost?” If the answer’s no, adapting and chaging course isn’t failure—it’s wisdom.

So the next time you find yourself grinding your gears, ask “Is what I’m chasing actually aligned with where I want to go—and how I want to feel?” If yes, bend like bamboo and keep going with that newfound adaptability. If not, respect yourself enough to shift course. That’s not failure; it’s evolution.

Ready to Bend, Not Break?

If you’re done feeling like your only option is to push harder until you snap, let’s talk. I specialize in helping women rewrite their rules and live life on their own terms—no burnout required. It’s time to find your own rhythm, your unique flow, and the kind of resilience that doesn’t leave you drained.

Send me a MESSAGE  or connect with me on LINKEDIN. Let’s rewrite your story, step by step.

Rewrite the rules. Live your legacy.